Lawyer Courtroom Remarks
These are supposidly from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people "actually" said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Tabberone cannot vouch that these actually were said but, hey, based upon the corporate lawyers we have met, they could have been said and they are funny.
Q: Are you sexually active?
Q: What is your date of birth?
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
Q: She had three children, right?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?